My Heart Aches Until My Bones Break
You ever have that numb fealing you just can’t seem to shake? That feeling to where if you didn’t have it, you might as well drop dead where you stand?
That feeling has dominated my life for the last couple of weeks. It’s almost gotten to the point to where if someone were to stab me with a dull butter knife, I’d probably show little to no care in the world much less know that if even occured.
Im at a crossroads in my life at the moment though that sparringly allows me to hold my head above water for even just a couple of seconds. Through the deepest depths of the ocean I have traveled battling the frustration that attempts to rip apart my flesh like a blood thirsty great white shark. Battling the entanglement of my craving to be loved like attempting to escape the vice grip of an octopus’ tentacles. Battling the hatred and misundertanding from others like preventing the venom of a jelly fish from flowing through my veins and into my heart.
Why tread this ocean? I’m in the pursuit of an oasis, a pocket of air where I may catch my breath and relax from my heart wrenching ambition, a beautiful corral reef that I may call home, and a lovely partner to battle the ocean by my side.
I’m running out of air, and I feel as though there is this haste to arrive at the destination. But where’s the struggle and reward from the journey? I don’t want to feel empty any longer, I wish to feel fulfilled. Im in pursuit of that one person who would be willing to sacrifice their air for me; unfortunately most just swim away.
My heart may ache until that day comes, and the pressure may increase the deeper I swim. But I dare the ocean to try an stop me, even if it trys to break my bones.
